The Hubs and I went to Disneyland this weekend (a.k.a. our home away from home) and I decided to buy a sweater. Not a big deal right? Well...it sort of became a big deal for me because I had NO stinkin' clue what size I was. This was because as my weight dropped, I had been repurposing my clothes by taking them in with my sewing machine so I would not go broke by constantly buying clothes that fit. Shoot, I even took in my undergarments to make them last longer. I know this is not a permanent solution but it has worked well for the past 7 months.
So there I was, standing in the middle of Star Traders in between Space Mountain and Star Tours and I was staring down the most adorable sweater jacket. It was a gray, cable-knit sweater jacket with three blue stacked Mickey heads on each side of the chest. I am usually not a sweater kind of girl but this one was calling my name.
Out of nothing but pure habit, I started looking for a 3x, which they didn't have (they didn't even have a 2x). Not even thinking an XL would fit; I decided to try it on to see if it would. I slipped my arms in, buttoned it up, looked in the mirror and discovered that it did not quite the fit the way it should...it was too big! I quickly took it off and double-checked the size just to make sure it was labeled correctly. Yep. It was an XL all right. OMG! "Could I fit into a Large?” I asked my friend who was with me. I grabbed one off the rack, slipped my arms in and buttoned it up. Answering my own question aloud, I said, "Why yes, yes I can" and I bought it right there on the spot.
The following day, the Hubs and I went to Target. He wanted a new game and I needed a new sports bra. I have been working out at the gym with some of my girlfriends for the past month or so (including going to Zumba for the past two weeks) and nothing holds the "girls" in place better than a good sports bra. If I can offer anyone some advice on this subject it is this...do not cheapen out on it. You will end up with a "uniboob" if you go for the cheap one. Spend the extra five bucks and get one that keeps them in place where they should be and not as one in the center of your chest.
After we picked up my sports bra and started heading toward the checkout, we passed by the rack of footed, one piece pajamas. You know, the ones you wore as a toddler that zipped from the waist up to the neck. They have them in adult sizes. I smiled and felt like a little girl all over again as I flipped through the different colors and styles. The Hubs must have thought they were pretty cute too because he told me to pick out a pair. Again, out of nothing but pure habit, I started searching for that 3x. It looked ginourmous so I put it back. Same thing for the 2x. They did not have an XL in the style I wanted so I picked up a Large and did not even bother to try it on. Even though it looked too small, I decided that if it did not fit now it would fit in December so I bought it.
We got home and unloaded our things. The Hubs took the dog outside so I snuck in the bathroom to try on my new pajamas. You know I was just dying to see if they fit!! Well...they did. I even got them zipped up without having to stretch them out first. I seriously felt like a little girl. I walked out of the bathroom with a smile from ear-to-ear and marched myself right out to the backyard to show the Hubs (who smiled just as big as I did). I did not care if it was 80 degrees outside; I was rockin' my new, red Sock Money footed pajamas.
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Old habits are a funny thing. We tend to gravitate toward the things that we are used too because it is what we know. Not gonna lie...I started feeling a little scared when I was shopping and buying clothes in a size that I haven't worn since middle school. It scared me because all of a sudden I realized that I am no longer bound to the big girl stores or the four racks of big girl clothes in the back corner of the store. It is a freedom that I haven't experienced before and it made me nervous because I don't want to fail.
George W. Carver once said, "Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses."
I was used to making excuses for everything. I made excuses for not exercising. My knees hurt, my feet hurt, I was too tired, etc. I was used to giving in to evils of junk/fast food because it was quicker and I did not have time or was too tired to cook. I made excuses for my excuses and would justify them. All I was doing was lying to myself. No more though.
And as I sit here typing this, in my red Sock Monkey pajamas, I am actually looking forward to going to the gym...even if I have to go by myself because I am not going to use that as an excuse not to get my workout on.
